Absolute Units

I’m going to go out on a limb and say most people don’t find units interesting. I do, but I spent 10 years of my life studying them in various capacities. Most units are boring until you look at all the strange choices we’ve made for units. We measure distance in km, but more often in minutes or hours; we measure our weight in pounds but our coffee in grams; and don’t get me riled up on temperatures. And then, there’s these units:

I hope today’s crossword inspires you to break out of the arbitrary boxes society has trapped you in and express the world around you in whatever measurements suit you best.

Discussion (and spoilers!) below the break.

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Discussion

To the people in the back saying “you can’t mix metric prefixes with arbitrary units” and “you can’t just make things up”, let me remind you that everything is made up, and also I love breaking rules.

Today’s Theme

Today’s three themed entries express quantities in unexpected measurements (though I assure you the amounts in brackets are [probably] correct). Combining metric prefixes with non-metric units, we measure area in MICROACREs (one-millionth of an acre), time in KILOSECONDS (one thousand seconds), and some salt in GIGAPINCHes (one billion pinches). My hand is sore just thinking about a billion pinches.

Tricky Clues

6A. Who knew that Minecraft was also real life? The floral-sounding LAPIS lazuli is not overly well-known but is absolutely gorgeous.

26A. Another fun bit of trivia. If you were around in the 70’s you probably know URI Geller, the famous spoon-bending psychic. If you weren’t around in the 70’s you probably know Kadabra, the spoon-bending Pokemon. Now you know both, and here’s a long but interesting read from a few years ago if you want to hear the whole story.

38A. [Smells like an American?] feels prime for an insult, but I pulled the punches here (read it how you will, I guess). Rather than the proper English “odours”, an American would spell ODORS.

1D. [Gamers’ rally to victory! (Abbr.)] is FTW or For The Win! Prior to the early 2000’s, FTW had a more… rebellious meaning, but here, today, it’s the chant of a true gamer.

21D. Listen, I try to stay away from the dad jokes here (hell, I’m not even a dad - just an uncle), but I had to do it. [How a joke might be said?] is INGEST (in jest) (you can boo any time).

32D. On the count of three, everyone yell out your favourite cat from Cats. You have one, right? Certainly it’s Mungojerrie, the troublemaker, or maybe the wise and benevolent Old Deuteronomy… Today though, we’re looking for GUS (full name Asparagus) the washed-up theatre cat.

I hope you enjoyed this puzzle!

Until next Friday,

Brandon